The MRE

Back to regular schedualed broadcasting....

Today, in our military lesson, I am going to discuss the M.R.E.

M.R.E officially stands for Meal Ready to Eat. Its a pre-packaged meal that's portioned for all the vitimins and minerals needed as well as daily portions of fat, calories, protien, etc. It comes with a special bag, that when you add water, it gets boiling hot, cooking the food in the process. The food is, at best, a fake-meat sandwich from McDonalds, and at worst, dry-mixed and canned egg omlet. Sometimes, pouring on the included tabasco sauce is the only way to choke it down.

Soldiers have come to give it more affectionate nicknames, such as Mr E (pronounced mystery) because you never really know if the meat is truly meat or not. My personal favorite, Meal Refusing to Exit.

The Meal Refusing to Exit is a pre-packaged meal specifically designed to stop you up. It's truely and experience, eating nothing but MREs for days on end. First, you notice that your daily poop is late. You wonder and worry, but figure it's just late. But days go by and you begin to gain weight. Next, you notice a sick feeling, but nothing serious. After 9 full days, you begin to have contractions (it's important to find a bathroom soon). After several mintues to a few hours of intense labor, it happens. You drop enough weight to clog up a porta-potty. Whew! What a relief!
Next week on Military Lesson 2: The Combat Shower.

In all seriousness, it's not quite that bad. We've only had to eat MREs for training exersises. The regular food here is pretty darn good. Steak and crab arms? Stir-Fri? Apple Pie? Ya, it's tough living when you have to make so many choices.

In case you havn't heard, I have changed locations. No address yet.....still working on that. However, internet is more reliable. I hope to get some pictures up here soon.

Out